Rain pours and pours. I dial the apartment number on the intercom. Several iridescent beeps and Tatiana's voice asks.

- Yes, I listen.

- Tan, it's me, Max.

The intercom stumbled, unlocking the door. I go to the entrance. Tatiana meets me at the open door.

- Hi, Max. - She kisses me on the cheek. - Max, you're wet through, again did not take the umbrella.

- Tan, I do not like them. You know.

I take off my wet raincoat and hang it on a separate hook. Let it dry out. Jumper and pants are wet too.

- So, immediately go to the bathroom, take off everything, I'll dry. Bathrobe my terry dress. You will go pink. Not enough yet to catch a cold.

I go to the bathroom. Tatiana is following me. Watching my revelation with interest.

- Take off your pants too. Hang on the battery. - The bathroom is cramped and it stands in the hallway. I obediently shorts. - And socks. - Okay, take off and socks. I stretch my bathrobe. Pink. Survived. I shove my feet in fluffy slippers. Pink No, this is already some kind of mockery. It leads to bad associations. Shmurgy slippers, pink pancake, under escort I follow into the kitchen. I sit down at the table.

Tatiana has dinner for dinner today. In general, Tanyuha well done, cooks perfectly. While I was absorbing her culinary masterpiece with appetite, Tanya managed to hang out my clothes to dry. Great hostess.

After dinner, as usual strong tea with a cigarette. Tanya herself does not smoke, but she treats my habit calmly. We have been dating for four months.

After the divorce, I could not look at women for eight months. Then he walked away a bit. Nature took her, and the hand was tired. I can’t say that I’ve gotten into all bad things, but ...

The first was Olga. We met at a party where an old friend dragged me. It seems to me that this acquaintance was arranged by him, he and his wife. But in general, I am grateful to the guys, they helped me to emerge from the deaf depression.

The former, it seems, then became convinced of the senselessness of attempts to “start everything from scratch,” and began to arrange her own life. Many months of pressure affected me not in the best way. Nervous system went racing. And when I saw her in front of my eyes, with an armful of red roses, she got into a wheelbarrow to a peasant unfamiliar to me, broke loose. Buha black. Almost month. One time, he almost strangled drunk.

I wake up in the morning with a hangover, my head is cracking, the bell ringing in my ears, the hammers are beating at the brains like shouted, the cats in the mouth are shit, the dry thing is creepy. And before my dull eyes on the chandelier, the loop hangs. And what is most interesting, I absolutely do not remember when, and most importantly, how I put it there. Then I understood. Fucked up Or tie or hang myself. Tied up. Getting out of this pit gradually.

It was during this period that they introduced me to Olga. In fact, I quit drinking, but melancholy pressed terribly. Olga was also experiencing hard days. Six months as divorced from her husband. On this basis, we agreed. What is called found each other. There was no talk of love there, we just helped each other to dull the pain. Well, we were good together. Unlike my ex in bed, Olya was a little squeezed, with her ex-husband not everything went smoothly in her bunk. But gradually it thawed out. We broke up after a couple of months, while maintaining good, friendly relations.

Then there were others ... And now, Tatyana ... Everything is different with her. I feel attached to her, and most terrible, she too. I see how she looks at me. And it scares. Frightening what I can not give, what she needs.

Tanya is sitting across from me. She lifts her good gray eyes at me, straightens her brown bangs with her hand. And before my eyes there are mischievous cornflower-blue lakes under a shock of wheat-hair. And I feel like the last bastard.

- Max, did you like it?

- Thank you, Tanya, everything is very tasty. - I look at her. - So, I'm in the shower.

Wiping myself dry with a towel, I put on a bathrobe and go to the bedroom.

The bedroom of Tanya is small, but surprisingly comfortable. Some kind of home sweet and warm. Soft ottoman covered with a fleece blanket and plush toys. They are everywhere, Tanya collects them all her life. She is generally very homely and warm, Tanya ... When she presses against her whole body, it seems to me that her skin smells like baking.

The daughter jumped out of marriage and drove off with her husband to Germany in search of a better life, and Tanya went off with her husband several years ago. A man fell in love with a young and decided to start a new life. The midlife crisis does not know any mercy, leaving behind the ruins of past life and the ashes of unfulfilled hopes. So Tanya was left alone in her forty years. Divorcee She was very hard at loneliness, and when I appeared in her life, I clung to me like a vest. I know how to listen, and that’s what she lacked. She spent hours telling me about her life, the pain that had plagued her since she learned about the betrayal, about her loneliness, for which she was completely unprepared. I listened, listened and tried to console as much as I could. I got carried away ... Too shortened the distance, we became too close ...

I throw off this pink shame and fall apart on the couch. I lie and listen to the sound of water coming from the bathroom, after me Tanya takes water procedures, she is generally very clean, there is no mote in the house.

The noise of the water stopped, after a couple of minutes Tanya entered the bedroom. Seeing me naked, sprawled right over the rug, she smiles.

- There is no way to make out the bed, after all, you guys are lazy. - She throws on a soft armchair, with a big teddy bear sitting on it, a colorful robe. Sorry Michal Potapych, today you will not break off the show, a robe covered the bear with his head.

I admire her naked body. She notices it and does not hurry. The chest, of course, is no longer the same as in youth, a pleasant suppleness replaced the elasticity, it sags a little, but you can pick it up with your palms from below and lift it up. Swollen nipples in brown halos, they want to caress your fingers and tongue. Stomach slightly bulges, Tanya loves to eat.

They say that men after forty attract young girls' bodies, I don’t know how anyone, but I like mature women.

They are like wine, over the years they only get better, the taste gets the necessary tartness, and the strength of the aged drink hits the head.

Tanya moves me to the side and climbs under the blanket, I join her.

Fingertips glide over the velvety skin, barely touching it. Tanya restrains herself as much as she can, then begins to snort and giggle amusingly.

- Well, ticklish, Max ... Come to me. - Her lips merge with mine. Languages ​​intertwined. My palms slide on the skin, picking up the breasts sprawling in the sides, gather them to the center, and start to play with the tongue with the nipples.

Tanya slightly bites her lower lip ... Taak, a naughty light began to spark in her gray eyes.

My hand gently goes down on a soft stomach and dives between the legs of Tatiana.

Moistening my fingers with saliva, I begin to caress the folds of the labia and the coveted knob.

Tanya flinches, a low moan, I tear my face from my breasts and look into her eyes. They are already covered with veil, and the hand feels; Tanya flowed.

Her hand runs through my stomach and palm covers already strengthened member. Having made several movements up and down the trunk, she pulls him towards herself. It is time.

Freed, I throw her legs on my shoulders and insert the penis into an open, already well-oiled vagina. Member enters easily.

I move smoothly, gradually increasing speed, changing the pace and direction of shocks. The member enters deeply, with each blow reaching the uterus, Tanya groans.

- Yes ... Yes ... Faster ... Just do not stop ... Yes ...

Her legs cramp, they put a lot of pressure on my shoulders. The vagina begins to shrink convulsively, Tanya ends ... I press myself down as deeply as possible ... I pour out inside a woman ... And drown in cornflower whirlpools ... Ton irrevocably ... Marina ...

I fall on the bed next to Tatiana. Catching my breath, I turn to her. Tanya lies nearby, turning her face to me. Blonde hair spread over the pillow, I raised myself on my elbow and went over them with my free hand.

Silky strands, the color of ripe wheat, slide between the fingers. I shake my head, chasing away the obsession. Blonde Tanya has blond hair. Not wheat, it's just a wraith of some kind. Oh, Marina, Marina ...

- Max, do you even like me a little? - Tanya's voice is calm, but her eyes ... Eyes do not lie.

- You're good, Tan. Yes, I like you. “What a bastard I am.”

- You're lying. You're lying, but still nice. “She puts her arms around my neck and presses my whole body against mine.” She is so hot ... And it smells like baking ... I stroke her hair, shoulders, back ... I whisper in my ear that something is sweet ...

Well, how ... How do you say that I love another. And I can not help myself. I can't tell you that. And lie, I also can not ...

I'm inventing some ridiculous reason to leave. Hurriedly starting to gather. She already understood everything. Standing in the hallway and watching me put on my raincoat.

- Max, call me. I'll be waiting ... - Gray eyes are treacherously shining. The voice trembles slightly. She already knows that I will not return. Just hoping.

I nod and leave. “Forgive me, Tanya” - my lips whisper when I go down the stairs.

I walk out of the porch and the cold rain again falls upon me. Cloak instantly gets wet through.

Trying to bypass the puddles, heading out of the yard towards the road. I look around for the last time, I find her window with my eyes ..

Through the muddy veil of night rain, the blurred silhouette of a lonely woman in a yellowish rectangle of a dim window, barely visible ... Forgive me Tanya, I could not give you the love you deserve, and I do not want to deceive you anymore ... me, hoping to get at least a drop of heat, but I can't give it to you ... In me, only cold, night and rain ...

I don't want to be a bastard anymore.

Forgive me, Tanya ... You were not the first ... But, the last ... I won't hurt anyone anymore ...

I lift the collar of my cloak and turn away. Scour the rain whipping down the face.

I hope she still has ...

And the flickering lights of the night city and the rain are waiting for me ... And the one that I love and will always love ... Love and hate ...